Las cartas de Thelma y Louise (final)
Ilustración de Ana Bustelo. Orsai.

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Audio RevistaOrsai.com Las cartas de Thelma y Louise (final)

Cerramos un intercambio epistolar que fue de menor a mayor. La periodista Ángeles Alemandi y nuestra editora Josefina Licitra iniciaron un cruce de mails en busca de un tema para una crónica pero el viaje las llevó a sitios no buscados. La soledad del interior, los ovnis, el cáncer y la amistad fueron las estaciones intermedias. Hoy, las dos mujeres llegan a destino.

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Esta es la cuarta y última entrega del intercambio epistolar entre Josefina Licitra y Ángeles Alemandi.

De: Ángeles Alemandi
Para: Josefina Licitra
Enviado: 20 de agosto de 2013

Jose querida, perdón por la demora en responder, vengo de unos días moviditos. Una siesta, el día antes del primer ciclo de quimioterapia, tocaron el timbre. No esperaba a nadie. No quería ver a nadie. Insistieron. No atendí. Dos horas después bajé porque la farmacia pasaba a entregarme la medicación, entonces encontré un ramo de flores en el hall del edificio. Me lo enviaba mi amiga Celina, que vive en Montreal, a través de una cómplice porteña. Cuando tomé el ascensor me vi en el espejo: en una mano llevaba drogas, en la otra, flores. La vida no era más que esa ecuación.

Desde que lo supo mi madre inició un peregrinaje que llamó «rally de santos». El fastidio (mío) de que ella me llene de medallas y estampitas lo ha compensado con ese nombre de cruzada genial. Cristian recobró toda su acidez y le gusta decirme: «Qué ganas de cagarnos la vida que tenés». Eso sí, cuando me ve caída tira frases memorables. El otro día hablaba del cáncer y decía «lo nuestro», «lo nuestro va a salir re bien». Juré casarme cuando esto termine. Me divierte mucho el backstage de la enfermedad. Durante la primera quimio me concentré en las pelucas que usaban algunas mujeres y en cómo se maquillaban las cejas ausentes, y adoré escuchar sus charlas sobre los sueros, a los que llamaban «piñas». Mi sachet de bienvenida fue rojo fluorescente.

Ángeles y Vicente.

«Con este se te va a caer el pelito», me dijo Roberto, el enfermero.

Ay, el lenguaje, pensé. Rally-de-santos-lo-nuestro-piñas-pelito. Ahí lo supe. La letra era lo que iba a mantenerme fuerte. Leer todo en clave narrativa. Mi vivir para contarla.

Algunos monstruos se fueron desvaneciendo. Raúl Dorado me dijo que él no había quedado con miedo después del episodio con el plato volador, yo ahora lo entendía. ¿Miedo a qué podía tener, cuando ya se había cruzado el límite? Por eso el fin de semana que el cabello empezó a caer decidí cortarlo. Nos encerramos con Cristian en el baño y me pasó la máquina de afeitar en filo cero. Aún veo la bolsa de residuos verde donde fue cayendo mi pelo castaño enrulado. Cuando mi hijo me vio con mi look onco corrió a abrazarme mostrándome sus ocho dientes.

Me siento bien y fuerte. Compartí en el blog una foto en la que estoy amamantando, de hace exactamente un año atrás. El bebé está prendido de la teta izquierda, donde hoy hay un tumor de casi cuatro centímetros. Me empeciné con que la lactancia materna exclusiva era lo mejor que le podía dar, pagué por eso tener los pezones sangrantes y ordeñarme decenas de veces para evitar una mastitis. Ahora que vuelvo a esa foto, que me enfrento a una posible mastectomía bilateral, siento la paz de haber hecho siempre lo que quise.

Si sigo bien, en unas semanas nos vamos a pasar unos días a nuestra casita pampeana, estoy emocionada.

Te abrazo,

Ángeles.


De: Josefina Licitra
Para: Ángeles Alemandi
Enviado: 6 de septiembre de 2013

Querida, te leo bien y eso me pone contenta. Me alegra mucho, también, que puedas irte a La Pampa.

Si tenés tiempo y fuerzas, llevate para leer Una forma de vida, un librito de Amélie Nothomb. Cuando a Chiri se le ocurrió manejarlo como intercambio epistolar, los dos pensamos en el acto en ese libro. Es el intercambio de Amélie con un supuesto marine de guerra que le escribe desde algún tipo de trinchera personal. Puede estar bueno leerlo.

Contame por favor —y si querés— cómo te va en el pueblo.

Te mando un grandísimo abrazo, y cuando pase esta nota —y si tenés ganas— quiero que nos juntemos a tomar algo. Yo te llevo la Orsai.

Jose.


De: Ángeles Alemandi
Para: Josefina Licitra
Enviado: 2 de octubre de 2013

Jose, pasaron ya más de dos meses del diagnóstico. Cristian quedó a más de setecientos kilómetros, en General San Martín. Apenas nos vemos los fines de semana. Con mi hijo estamos viviendo en el departamento de Buenos Aires. Hasta hoy, que te escribo desde el pueblo, creía que esa era mi casa.

No me animé a venir antes porque no soporto la idea de estar lejos del hospital. Ya pasaron tres ciclos de quimioterapia y casi no he tenido efectos colaterales. Lo que sí he naturalizado es que casi siempre entre uno y otro levanto fiebre y es porque me quedo sin defensas. Ahí peregrino un poco por la guardia clínica, y me colocan en la panza un par de inyecciones para multiplicar los glóbulos blancos. Esta vuelta sumé veinte mil, valgo por tres personas. Era entonces un buen finde para viajar.

Llegamos el jueves. Nos trajeron mis papás. Cristian nos esperó con la casa pintada y construyó hamaca y tobogán para el changuito. La cama estaba tendida. La heladera, llena. El teléfono de línea aún apretaba el papelito donde anoté el número del centro médico de Guatraché, y no me animé a tocarlo. Me di cuenta de que esta era mi casa, Jose. La recorrí con la nostalgia de una enamorada que cada tanto abre la caja para oler el vestido blanco y recordar con más intensidad la boda. 

No es que los planetas se hayan alineado de repente. Ni que me crea eso de que una aprende de lo que le pasa. Ni que piense de golpe que General San Martín se convirtió en algo que no es. Casi no he salido de casa para evitar miradas inquisidoras. Me indigné al enterarme de que el mes pasado hubo un crimen y no estuve para regodearme escribiendo una crónica policial. Reí a carcajadas con el relato de mis padres que el sábado llevaron al nieto a una de las «únicas dos funciones» que daba un «circo internacional» que pasaba por acá.

Los días me hicieron bien.

Ahora estamos los tres en la cama grande con la perra recostada sobre mis pies. Todos duermen y yo pienso que ojalá el pibito tire esta noche de corrido. Mientras tanto me doy el gusto de terminar el libro de Nothomb y me relajo en la almohada, segura de que algún día, cuando abra de nuevo los ojos, voy a despertarme otra vez en este cuarto, de un modo definitivo, viendo cómo amanece mi pueblo a través de la ventana.

Te abrazo.

Ángeles.

Ángeles Alemandi con su hijo.

Temas relacionados

#Madre #Amor #Hijo #Amistad #Escritura

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