El año nuevo no empieza
Brindis de año nuevo. Sebastián Rosso para Orsai.

Actualidad en verso

Audio RevistaOrsai.com El año nuevo no empieza

Cada quince días, nuestro poeta más querido (y el único al que le podemos pagar) nos deja unas décimas de actualidad. Pero en estas fechas la actualidad queda aplastada por la tragedia más temida del ser humano: los parientes en año nuevo. En esta entrega Zambayonny nos regala una postal que se parece a la de nuestra casa.

Ya casi no queda nada
para que termine el año
esperen que voy al baño
dijo la tía apurada
sobró un kilo de ensalada
se lamentaba mi vieja
te ayudo con las bandejas
le propuso mi cuñado
«te ayudo» es de patriarcado
y lo paró de una oreja.

La foto es para medalla
con la familia reunida
y la cuenta regresiva
de Crónica en la pantalla
ya quiero estar en la playa
exclamó el primo Mateo
te llevaste hasta el recreo
le recriminó su madre
te quedás en Buenos Aires
o vas pupilo al Liceo.

Las doce y no pasa nada
el Año Nuevo no empieza
se pone rara la mesa
tengo la mano cansada
dijo la abuela parada
con la copa en movimiento
si no brindamos me siento
total este año me muero
lo mismo decía el abuelo
y vivió como doscientos.

Brindemos por otra cosa
pidió mi hermana sonriente
la sidra ya está caliente
se quejó mi tía Porota
no seas hincha pelotas
le alcanzó a decir mi primo
mejor callate sobrino
que tenés olor a porro
es el perfume pedorro
que me regaló el padrino.

En medio del desconcierto
mi cuñada religiosa
se puso a contarnos cosas
desde el nuevo testamento
no nos vengas con tus cuentos
la frenó en seco mi hermano
conocemos tus pecados
del pasado y del presente
si andás buscando clientes
buscalos por otro lado.

Mi viejo pidió atención
y dijo sin pestañear
en Australia fue puntual
lo vi por televisión
y aprovecho la ocasión
para leer un poema
ya leíste en Nochebuena
y se te quemó el asado
le dije como un soldado
que abandona la trinchera.

Entre tantos desencuentros
el 2020 se cuelga
fondo blanco y a la mierda
dijo mi abuela y adentro
un séptimo regimiento
pidió mirando la hora
se me calentó la gola
por qué carajo me miran
la joda no se jubila
manga de giles de goma.

El perro se fue animando
a salir de su escondite
luego se comió un confite
que estaba por ahí tirado
miró hacia el cielo estrellado
y no se escuchaba nada
no se veían bengalas
ni cañitas voladoras
y así moviendo la cola
le ladró a la madrugada.

Temas relacionados

#Familia #Amor #Tragedia #Pelea

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