Los secretos que descubrí sobre el amor mirando comedias románticas (II)
Una escena de «Propuesta indecente» (1993). IMDB.

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Audio RevistaOrsai.com Los secretos que descubrí sobre el amor mirando comedias románticas (II)

Con cuatro lecciones básicas apoyadas en tres películas del cine clásico y la obra de un director contemporáneo, Melania Stuchi cierra este folletín acerca de cuánto inciden las comedias románticas en la educación sentimental de las personas de a pie. He aquí las conclusiones finales.

← Viene del primer capítulo.
Esta es la segunda y última entrega sobre los secretos que tiene para contar el cine romántico.


¿Qué verdades secretas guardan esos mundos de fantasía? ¿Alguien dice que las comedias románticas mienten? Veamos.

Lección 1

Empiezo con una de las mejores, un clásico: Bringing up Baby de Howard Hawks, con Cary Grant y Katharine Hepburn. Conocida en Argentina como Mi adorable revoltosa y, en España, como La fiera de mi niña.

David (Cary Grant) es un paleontólogo con la vida estoicamente estructurada: se va a casar con su secretaria (más rígida que él) y acaba de recibir el último hueso que le faltaba para armar el esqueleto de un gigantesco brontosaurio (esa es su máxima felicidad el día previo a la boda). Esa misma tarde aparece Susan, niña rica, impulsiva y excéntrica, pero divertidísima, que no hace más que meterlo en problemas, como impedir que llegue a la boda o perder el famoso hueso del brontosaurio.

Hasta acá, el planteo básico de cualquier comedia romántica: chica y chico con personalidades opuestas se cruzan por algún hecho fortuito y tienen que pasar una temporada juntos a pesar de que no quieran. Puede ser que tengan que trabajar en equipo o que les convenga estar juntos por algún motivo externo. Al principio no se soportan, se molestan, se pelean, muchas veces tienen que fingir llevarse bien, se lastiman. Pero cuando llega la liberación —es decir, cuando ya no hay nada que los obligue a estar juntos— comprenden que se enamoraron y corren al encuentro del otro. La hipótesis es: el amor verdadero sucede entre opuestos que se complementan.

Sin embargo, hay algo en Bringing up Baby que se diferencia de las reglas del género. Susan sabe desde el primer momento que está enamorada de David. Por lo tanto, en el final de la historia, Susan no sufre ninguna transformación. Al contrario, lleva al límite su personalidad: balanceándose de felicidad, porque finalmente él reconoce que la ama, tira abajo el esqueleto del brontosaurio al que David le dedicó cinco años de trabajo.

Lo que aprendí con Bringing up Baby: el amor nunca es calma. ¿El amor nunca es calma? Bueno, en principio no es comodidad. Llega, te rompe lo que armaste con cuidado durante años, te saca de tu eje, te enerva, y logra que hagas cosas que estaban en vos, pero que todavía no conocías. Pero, entonces, ¿es una pesadilla? Y… depende de cómo se mire, pero para amar hay que cruzar el límite, salirse de uno mismo.

No veo nada falso en este descubrimiento. Podría ponerme irónica, pero de esa forma cualquier afirmación se volvería ridícula. Mejor, por ahora, pasemos a la siguiente lección.

Lección 2

Sigo con los clásicos. Ahora es el turno de Sabrina, de mi amado Billy Wilder, con Audrey Hepburn, Humphrey Bogart y William Holden.

Los Larrabee son una familia de dinero. El hijo mayor, Linus, frío y aburrido, es egresado de excelencia de Yale y un experto en finanzas. El menor, David, atractivo, sexy y encantador, pasó por las mejores universidades del Este durante períodos de tiempo cortos, y por varios matrimonios de períodos de tiempo aún más cortos. Sabrina, la hija del chofer de la familia, hace años está enamorada de David, por supuesto. Su padre, cansado de verla sufrir, decide mandarla a París para que aprenda a cocinar y a olvidar el sueño de alcanzar la luna (una metáfora paterna para decir que David es imposible para ella). Por suerte, en París Sabrina se encuentra con el Barón de Saint Fontanel, un señor de setenta y cuatro años que le enseña a transformarse en una mujer. El Barón comienza así su primera conversación con Sabrina:

    —Una mujer felizmente enamorada, quema el suflé. Una mujer tristemente enamorada, se olvida de encender el horno. ¿Tengo razón?

    —Sí. Pero intento curarme.

    —¿Por qué curarse? Habla del amor como si hablara de un catarro.

    —Ni siquiera sabe que existo. Es pretender alcanzar la luna.

    —¿La luna? ¡Oh, ustedes las jóvenes son tan anticuadas! ¿No lo sabe? Se construyen cohetes para llegar a la luna. 

(¡Qué diálogos que escribía Billy Wilder! Recordemos que la película es de 1954.) Sabrina se transforma en una mujer sofisticada que a su regreso puede seducir a David. Pero, en el camino de la conquista, comprende lo que sucedió. Primero, lo intuye asombrada; luego empieza a entenderlo y, por último, lo asume: no es David a quien quiere, sino a su hermano mayor, Linus. David es una imagen, alguien con quien le gusta imaginarse en la foto. Pero, en la realidad, cuando decide vivir en lugar de observar la vida descubre que es Linus con quien desea estar, es decir, su amor verdadero.

Lo que aprendí con Sabrina: existe una diferencia entre lo que creemos que queremos y lo que de verdad queremos. ¿Cómo se descubre esa diferencia? Viviendo.

Hawks y Wilder, decididamente: cómo me gustaría ser un personaje de ellos.

Lección 3

Paso a un clásico de los noventa: French Kiss, de Lawrence Kasdan, con Meg Ryan y Kevin Kline.

Kate (Meg Ryan) tiene todo bajo control. Es una chica organizada, ha ahorrado toda su vida para comprar su casa, hogar dulce hogar; mide los riesgos, conoce las ventajas. Pero hay algo que no calcula: su futuro marido la abandona para irse a Francia detrás de una francesa que explota sensualidad. Entonces Kate, que nunca se da por vencida, decide ir detrás de él, pese a su aversión por los aviones. Así conoce a Luc (Kevin Kline) un francés bruto, impulsivo y ladrón. La pobre Kate tiene que viajar y perder y perder (llega a París y un amigo de Luc le roba el bolso, el dinero, el pasaporte). Y tiene que reconquistar a su exfuturo marido para después elegir perderlo. Y tiene que dilapidar los ahorros de toda su vida (para ayudar a que Luc no termine en la cárcel) para descubrir el verdadero amor.

Lo que aprendí con French Kiss: para amar, primero, hay que perder. 

Lección 4

Me pongo más moderna y me voy de un salto a uno de los mejores directores contemporáneos: Paul Thomas Anderson. La película: Punch Drunk Love, con Adam Sandler y Emily Watson. Conocida en español como Embriagado de amor.

¿Es una comedia romántica? Yo creo que lleva el género a un extremo poético y bizarro. De eso también va la visión del amor que plantea.

Barry Egan (Adam Sandler) es un chico raro que siempre lleva un traje azul. Trabaja en una empresa de artículos para baño y junta millas de vuelo a cambio de budines que compra en el supermercado.

Es probable que el noventa y nueve por ciento de las chicas puedan mirarlo raro y rechazarlo por excéntrico. Excepto Lena Leonard (Emily Watson) que finge un encuentro casual solo porque vio su foto y le gustó. En la primera cita, él va al baño y vuelve con la mano ensangrentada. Unos minutos después, el encargado se acerca a la mesa y les pide que se retiren. Lo acusan de haber roto el grifo. Y él lo niega, con la mano sangrando a la vista de todos. Es que Barry, criado entre siete hermanas (que lo torturan y le piden y le exigen y le preguntan) es un chico con problemitas. Pero Lena se enamora y le expresa sus deseos en la cama: «Quiero comerte los ojos». Entonces, Barry se vuelve fuerte, puede enfrentar lo que sea porque «ahora tiene un amor en su vida».

Lo que aprendí con Punch Drunk Love: en el amor no se trata de ser lindo o inteligente o popular. Cada cual tiene su propio match, no importa la rareza que tengamos. O como diría mi abuelo: siempre hay un roto para un descosido. 

Lección 5

Tengo que elegir la última. Qué difícil. Hay tantas que son maravillosas. Y muchas que son malísimas, lo sé. Para concluir, una que también rompe un poco con el género. Termina mal. ¿Termina mal? La pareja se separa, pero no creo que termine mal. Veamos. Annie Hall, de Woody Allen, con Woody Allen y Diane Keaton.

Alvy conoce a Annie, se enamoran y él la moldea como un Pigmalión neoyorkino, intelectual y neurótico. Hasta que Annie, transformada, decide abandonarlo para irse a Los Angeles. Alvy, angustiado, sale con otras mujeres e intenta hacer con ellas lo mismo que hacía con Annie: las salidas, los chistes, los juegos en casa. Pero cuanto más intenta copiar esos momentos, más siente el vacío de la ausencia. En el final, Alvy se despide amistosamente de Annie, mientras su voz en off dice: 

«Y me acordé de aquel viejo chiste, ya saben, el del tipo que va a ver al psiquiatra y le dice: ‘Doctor, mi hermano se ha vuelto loco. Se cree que es una gallina’. Y el médico le contesta: ‘Bueno, ¿y por qué no hace que lo encierren?’. Y el tipo le replica: ‘Lo haría, pero es que necesito los huevos’. En fin, yo creo que eso expresa muy bien lo que siento acerca de las relaciones entre las personas, ¿saben? Son completamente irracionales, disparatadas, absurdas… Pero creo que las seguimos manteniendo porque la mayor parte de nosotros necesitamos los huevos».

Lo que aprendí con Annie Hall: en la película, Alvy escribe una obra de teatro en la que Annie, en lugar de irse a Los Angeles, se queda en Nueva York porque comprendió que lo ama. Es decir, si la historia en la vida real sale mal, siempre se podrá contar una versión feliz en una comedia romántica.

Se trata de mantener la ilusión. 


Dos meses después, a Melania le sellan la entrada en el Prat. En el aerobús hacia Plaza Catalunya repasa la lista de todo lo que aprendió. Siente como si pudiera verse a sí misma, mientras se le caen las maletas bajando del bus. Trajo demasiada ropa.

Una vez en la habitación podría proponerle a su catalán volver a encontrarse en el Karma, pero elige algo más simple. Le manda un mensaje: «Estoy en Barcelona». Él le pide la dirección exacta. Ella se la da. El siguiente mensaje dice: «Pues entonces, asómate y saluda». Mira por el balcón: ahí está, parado, frente al edificio, ansioso. Un cliché. Ella baja, apura el paso por las escaleras. Abre la puerta. Se abrazan fuerte, se besan. Fundido a negro.


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