Un gato del otro lado del mostrador
Un gato desafiante. Getty.

Lectores

Audio RevistaOrsai.com Un gato del otro lado del mostrador

La semana pasada nuestra editora Josefina Licitra fue atacada por un animal callejero y fue al hospital a curarse. Extrañamente, la persona que la atendió nos envía su mirada de los hechos.

La crónica se llama Un gato hijo de puta y narra el viaje al Hospital Italiano para curarse las heridas que le provocó el felino. En la entrada al hospital —cuenta Josefina— «un recepcionista tomó mi carnet, anotó las razones por las que estaba en la guardia y por sistema le pasó mis datos a un segundo empleado que estaba mirando la pantalla. Cuando me acerqué, ese empleado arqueó las cejas y sonrió». Lo que sigue es la carta que nos mandó esta semana el trabajador del hospital, que cuenta la misma historia, pero desde el otro lado del mostrador.


Aquel domingo llegué cansado al trabajo. Mal dormido. Lolo acostumbra pasar la noche a mis pies, ya estoy resignado al contorsionismo para no patearlo, pero esa noche estuvo particularmente inquieto. Subía y bajaba de la cama más veces que lo habitual, estaba diferente, algo en el aire lo perturbaba. O quizás era yo el que estaba intranquilo y depositaba mis paranoias en la mascota de la casa.

Ver la serie de moda de Netflix (Love, death & robots) antes de apagar la tele quizás no había sido buena idea, en algún lugar de mi inconsciente me quedó rebotando la idea apocalíptica del episodio «Los tres robots» donde los gatos son la causa de la extinción humana del planeta. Y yo a Lolo lo notaba distinto, inquieto, alerta.

Al despertarme sólo tenía en la cabeza lo entrecortado que había dormido y cómo me iba a afectar en la larga jornada laboral.

Fichar en el hospital, pasar por un café de la máquina, tomar el puesto y comenzar a recepcionar pacientes en la guardia: la rutina tan rutinaria. Uno con gripe, un dolor abdominal, presión alta, conjuntivitis, un exceso en las comidas, lo de siempre… Nada hacía prever cuan diferente sería ese día.

En una guardia de hospital hay temporada alta de enfermedades respiratorias, en verano abundan los excesos por el sol, los domingos las consecuencias de los asados, al término de un fin de semana largo los que quieren un certificado de reposo porque les cuesta mucho volver a la rutina laboral, y hay días particularmente raros que se repiten casos. La semana pasada sin ir más lejos, ingresaron, en poco más de una hora, tres personas con quemaduras en las manos.

Ese domingo fue el día de los gatos. El primer y segundo paciente con mordeduras de gatos pasaron desapercibidos. Pero cuando vi en pantalla «lesión cutánea por arañazo de gato» no pude más que sorprenderme y mirar fijo a la paciente.

—Sí, me arañó un gato— me dijo

—No, no es eso —atiné a decir—. Yo te leo.

Rápido pude salir del paso cuando al verla, noté que la conocía.

—Quiero comprar «38 Mujeres» —y ahí me quise matar al notar mi error al nombrar su libro, cuando muy amablemente me hizo saber que se llama «38 Estrellas»— y soy lector de Orsai.

Me agradeció, me preguntó mi nombre, y aproveché el momento para hacerle un comentario, pero fue algo desafortunado.

—Yo hice el taller de anécdotas en ETER con Chiri y Casciari. Decile al chanta de tu amigo que estoy esperando que las publique como prometió.

Y otra vez me quise matar, cómo le voy a hacer un reclamo sobre una promesa pendiente de un tercero, en vez de aprovechar la situación para elogiarle sus textos. Cosas que pasan cuando te encontrás de sopetón con alguien que admirás.

Poco faltaba para volver a casa y haberme encontrado con la editora de Orsai, era la gran anécdota del día. No había cerrado la puerta de casa que ya le estaba contando a mi mujer quien había ido de paciente a la guardia, y la pequeña charla en la que tuve más comentarios fuera de lugar, que palabras de elogio. Hasta que en una pausa, me interese por su día: «¿Por acá todo bien?»

—Estuvo muy raro Lolo, como agresivo, saltaba de acá para allá y maullaba mirando fijo al cielo.

Un texto de

Pablo Plavnick

Temas relacionados

#Encuentro #Sorpresa #Rutina #Gato

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