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Julieta me ganó seis libros
En la ciudad de Buenos Aires, el 80% de los matrimonios se separa antes de los diez años de convivencia. A pesar de esa estadística, casi todo el mundo reincide... Por ejemplo, el autor.
Santiago Sequeiros
Perros de la calle
Esta semana leí que, en la ciudad de Buenos Aires, el 80% de los matrimonios se separa antes de los diez años de convivencia. Un porcentaje de error enorme. Y a pesar de esa estadística, en este momento de la mañana, en alguna oficina, en alguna plaza de Buenos Aires, dos personas desconocidas empiezan a charlar (ahora mismo debe estar pasando) y se gustan. Y así empiezan, de a poco, a convertirse en el ochenta por ciento de la década que viene.
Amor a primera vista, intuición, química. A todos nos pasa. Sabemos que estadísticamente va a fallar, pero seguimos adelante.
A mí me pasó hace un poco más de tres años. Conocí a una lectora que, durante la Copa América de 2015, me ganó seis libros en una apuesta.
Yo aposté con mis lectores un libro por cada gol de Argentina en la semifinal, y Argentina le ganó 6-1 a Paraguay. Casi me fundo. Si mandaba los libros desde España, eran 96.000 dólares de pérdida solamente en gastos de envío.
Así que los mandé a imprimir en Buenos Aires y me tomé un avión para entregarlos acá, personalmente, y ahorrarme el correo. Y uno de esos días conocí a Julieta, que quería los libros dedicados.
Fue muy extraño lo que pasó la tarde que la conocí,… No quiero que parezca romántico lo que voy a contar, porque no es romántico. Fue un error del tiempo, y de hecho me asusté.
Voy a ver si lo puedo explicar. La primera vez que vi a Julieta, en el momento exacto que la enfoqué, sentí una familiaridad espantosa. Durante cinco o seis segundos mi cabeza se dividió y vi la escena desde el futuro, y escuché mi propia voz diciendo: «Mirá, ahí nos vimos por primera vez, qué jóvenes éramos. Mirá: ella tenía el pelo cortito». Eso escuché.
¿Entienden lo que digo? Era mi propia voz adentro de mi cabeza, pero una voz gastada, era la voz de un viejo. Y entonces me di cuenta de todo. Mientras miraba a Julieta por primera vez en la vida supe que en el futuro vamos a poder ver escenas importantes de nuestro pasado como quien mira un álbum de fotos.
Porque adentro de mi cabeza yo estaba hablando como un viejo que mira un álbum. Yo decía: «Mirá, ahí estábamos los dos por primera vez, era la época de los pantalones chupines, qué época de mierda».
Yo escuchaba mi sorpresa del futuro. Debía ser el año dos mil cincuenta y pico. Por mi voz, lo intuyo. Yo seguramente estaba en un sillón, con más de ochenta años, un poco nostálgico… mirando escenas de mi vida en el álbum. Y sin querer di vuelta una página y apareció la escena del día en que conocí a Julieta. Y por alguna razón, mi voz del futuro se ligó y me pude escuchar, mientras ocurría la escena en la vida real.
Eso pasó durante cinco o seis segundos. Lo juro, por mis dos hijas. No estoy haciendo literatura, ni estoy exagerando.
Escuché mi voz desde el futuro. Me escuché decir: «Mirá mirá, ella tenía el pelo corto, mirá que linda que estaba». Mientras que en el presente, en 2015, esa era la primera vez que yo veía a esa chica.
¡Y me cagué de un susto! No fue una sensación placentera: me dio vértigo. Tuve que prender un cigarro, y agarrarme de una baranda, porque al mismo tiempo yo podía sentir lo que sentía ese viejo que miraba la escena. Y era un amor sereno lo que sentía ese viejo por esa chica, era un amor lleno de años y de nietos; de plantas y de perros; de viajes y de charlas. Toda esa memoria pesada me llegó, en cinco segundos, como si me hubieran metido un pendrive en el culo.
Me quedé mirando a la lectora con los ojos abiertos, sin poder hablar. Julieta me dijo, unos días después, que yo parecía drogado.
Y era verdad.
Es verdad, yo había fumado bastante el día que conocí a Julieta. Pero eso no anula la experiencia. No invalida lo que estoy contando. El buen fumador lo sabe: el cannabis solamente te subraya algo que ya está pasando en tu cabeza. El porro le da un marco legal al pensamiento mágico, nada más.
A lo largo de mi vida conocí a un montón de gente mientras yo estaba drogado, y nunca mi cabeza se fue al futuro ni se ligó la conversación con mi vejez; nunca escuché “ay, qué jóvenes que eran” el día que lo conocí a Andy en un bar.
Esto que cuento me pasó una sola vez en la vida. Después de la Copa América de 2015. Algunos lo llaman amor a primera vista. Otros le dicen química. Y el ochenta por ciento de las veces es solamente calentura y se convierte en un gran error.
Yo me volví a Barcelona después de conocer a Julieta y de entregarle seis libros dedicados a casi 1.200 personas. Y en Barcelona no podía dejar de pensar en ella. Empezamos a hablar por wasap. Y ahí supe que era antisocial como yo, y que era hincha de Racing, fanática. Y creí todavía más en el viejo del futuro.
Entonces viajé a Buenos Aires para su cumpleaños. Ella iba a cumplir 32, en diciembre de 2015. Y yo volé unos días antes, y la invité a Montevideo a pasar un fin de semana. Nos habíamos visto muy pocas veces, no podía salir bien.
Y salió peor: en Montevideo tuve un infarto y ella me llevó al hospital. En el hospital pasó algo que nunca conté. Y ahora, que otra vez tengo ganas de escribir, quiero contarlo.
Yo estaba en una camilla. No podía respirar y había dos médicos haciéndome reanimación. Yo me había separado de mi exmujer hacía tres meses. Habíamos convivido durante quince años. No estábamos peleados, nunca estuvimos peleados.
Y ahora yo me estaba muriendo, junto a una desconocida.
Si te separaste por equivocación, o si estás con alguien nuevo solamente por calentura, el borde de la muerte es el mejor termómetro del error. No podés caretear cuando te estás muriendo. Porque la verdad se pone nítida.
Y yo no podía dejar de pensar en Julieta, mientras me iba muriendo. Nos habíamos visto ocho veces en la vida. Ella estaba del otro lado del quirófano, sola, peleándose con unas enfermeras que no la habían dejado entrar. Y yo pensaba «pobrecita», el garrón que se está comiendo y ni siquiera me conoce. Yo me estaba muriendo y pensaba: «Pobrecita, ¡La cantidad de trámites que va a tener que hacer cuando me muera!».
Desde la camilla yo podía ver la puerta del quirófano. Y ella saltaba desde afuera, para espiar. Yo veía pedacitos de su cabeza por el ojo de buey, como si fuera un dibujo animado. Y eso me hacía reír, mientras me moría.
¡Eso me hacía reír mientras me moría!
Y no me quería morir, hacía fuerza, para llegar a viejo y ver si era cierto ese futuro en donde hay álbumes con escenas del pasado. Para ver si era verdad el amor sereno, lleno de años y de nietos, y de perros y de viajes.
Y entonces sobreviví. y tuve que dejar de fumar para siempre. Y eso me provocó ausencia de placer al escribir. Y dejé de escribir. En estos tres años me dediqué, casi exclusivamente, a formar una familia con la mujer que saltaba en la puerta del quirófano.
Y hoy, que pasaron tres años desde aquel infarto y de nuevo me desperté con muchas ganas de escribir, quiero escribir primero que nada una escena. Un escena muy chiquita.
Aprovecho que es 14 de diciembre y que Julieta cumple años para regalarle una escena del álbum del futuro: Es esta escena, mirá:
«Mirá qué jóvenes éramos, esto debe ser a finales del dieciocho. Mirá qué hermosa Pipa, no tenía dos años todavía, tenía rulitos. Mirá como juega con su perro, ¿te acordás del primer perro? Qué perro imbécil… Miráte vos, con el pelo largo. Fue el año del campeonato largo de Racing, quedamos punteros en el receso y vos cumplías 35 esa mañana. Y yo te regalé el primer cuento que escribí sin fumar y con placer, y te lo leí en la radio sin decirte nada. Qué jóvenes éramos, qué vida intensa. A veces tengo nostalgia del presente».




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